Life

This is supposed to be a difficult post; it is not easy to be specific while being abstract enough to not disclose much about yourself, and yet retain the interest of the readers and make a meaningful post. So here goes.

I think I am a geek at heart, and I’m practical and calculative, but not in the negative sense that it often connotes. That is not to say that I lack emotions, hardly the case. I feel. And I’m quite happy for that. But there are far more times when I have to push my practicality away to get to those emotions than otherwise. It is not that it is difficult; it is just that the emotion obviously hits first, but with all the baggage of environment, upbringing, formal education and training, the analytics follow, only to overwhelm. That’s when the fight between the human-side and the mechanistic-side begins.

I want to do certain things, but I wouldn’t permit myself. This post is one of them. But I’ve written it down, in perhaps a moment.

I just wish sometimes that I were a bit lesser mess of contradictions.

Then again, I wouldn’t be me, would I? But do I want to be me?

Convoluted questions apart, I still haven’t quite discovered the real point of all things. Maybe I never will. But darn, this sucks. What is worse, is that I realize it, and yet, do nothing about it. Or maybe I am; I just don’t seem to realize that I am.

I’m brilliant at multi-tasking. Maybe this thought process helps build that competency. I’ve observed that I can be super-efficient when loaded with stuff, but how long can I sustain. And to what purpose?

We all wish for a simpler life. Would it be half as meaningful if it were simple?

There’s one thing, however, that I’m pretty sure of: Purpose drives. The one trick to sustenance: Keep that purpose alive. And maybe that is the answer.